Hello friends! I’m writing to you as I slowly emerge from my newborn bubble.  I honestly don’t know where the past seven weeks have gone but I do know that I now I have a very tiny and cute human that I’m responsible for and I couldn’t be happier!

20/04/17 our darling girl Harper Louise entered the world happy and healthy via elective caesarean weighing in at 3.445kgs.  I honestly never had a preference on how I wanted to give birth and as I had seen with so many of my friends, anything can happen unexpectedly so I didn’t want to be disappointed if things didn’t go to plan.

During my pregnancy, an ultrasound showed that I had a marginal cord insertion which is where the umbilical cord is attached closer to the edge of the placenta instead of in the center.  Initially, the main concern was that it may affect baby’s growth, although through doing some research I saw that it can also cause complications to mum and baby during child birth that may be avoided through an elective C-section.

Thankfully it didn’t end up affecting baby’s growth at all and the doctors and midwives said that having a vaginal birth shouldn’t be a problem, but how do you go ahead with that when everything you’ve read tells you to go for a C-section? When I fell pregnant I wasn’t out to prove anything to myself or anyone. My goal was to end up with a healthy baby, so I just wanted her to arrive in the safest way possible.

I went ahead with the caesarean at 39 weeks which was an incredible yet slightly terrifying experience. I wasn’t at all nervous in the lead up but I guess the reality of being awake during a major surgery can be a little unsettling. Those feelings quickly fled when the curtain came down and I could see her being pulled out. Minutes later she was placed on my chest and it really was the most amazing moment of my entire life. I got exactly what I wished for – a safe arrival for my baby girl.

What I didn’t wish for was the internal bleeding I ended up with!

I noticed that I had tummy, chest and shoulder pain as soon as I was in recovery trying to breastfeed. I mentioned it to the midwives but I didn’t make too much of a fuss because I assumed that was just normal for a C-section. As the day went on it became more and more painful, not being able to breathe while breastfeeding with Harper on my chest then passing in and out of consciousness as Serkan expressed my colostrum to feed her. My tummy went from being almost flat to looking nine months pregnant again. I was basically told it was just gas and to suck it up.

After a night of hell, I went in for x-rays and ultrasounds. They found that I had internal bleeding (not at all related to the marginal cord insertion) and rushed me back into theater to remove 1.6 liters of blood running wild in my abdomen.

An extra surgery and two blood transfusions later, I was feeling like a new woman.  Not a woman well enough to get out of bed of course, but well enough to feed and cuddle my baby. They still weren’t sure exactly what caused the bleeding but I still had my uterus, ovaries and other organs after been told they may have to be removed, so I was pretty happy with that.

Although this was obviously not the ideal situation and set me back a bit with the recovery and breastfeeding, I’m just so glad it was me going back into surgery and not Harper. That’s what kept me going. I would go through that a million times for it not to be her.

I honestly owe so much to my incredible husband who took the reins like a champion and did every single nappy change, burped and helped feed Harper while looking after me in the early days.  I always knew he’d be an incredible father but the way he handled this just took him next level!

Bringing a human into the world is hard work! Caring for them once they are here is not any easier but every time I start to feel sorry for myself, stressed or tired I just think about what a blessing it is to be here in the first place.

Yes, great sleep is a thing of the past, my hair brush and I barely keep in touch, my life is harder and has been turned up side down, but isn’t that what we signed up for? The love I have for my husband and this little girl is something I never could have prepared myself for and makes it all worth while.

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  • Ines Georgieva

    Hi, Mish Mac. I totally relate to your pregnancy difficulties and birth experience. I also had marginal cord insertion but also a condition called vasa previa – really rare one where baby blood vessel cross or can run near the internal opening of the uterus and can rupture when the membrane ruptures. So I had to deliver early – one doctor said 35 weeks but the one who made the surgery waited till 37 weeks without 1 day. He wanted to do the elective C section 37 weeks and 4 days but I started getting contractions and dilated so they could’t have waited more. My husband was also really great with helping and still is. As you I was to the moon and back that my baby arrived safe and sound and will do the operation hundreds of times for her.
    I have a beautiful baby girl called Ema born on 25.04 :)))

    Best and lots of positive vibes,
    Ines Georgieva

  • Simona

    I’ve been following you since few months – one day I was looking for someone who has a body structure similar to mine and is a bit more advanced in pregnancy, so that I could see eventually how big my belly would go as my pregnancy progresses… this is how I found you – how stupid, isn’t it :)))
    Currently being 33weeks pregnant, I started thinking about the way I want to give birth and my dilemma between C section or VB is getting bigger and bigger. I also have marginal cord insertion, as well as few other medical conditions (because of these being classified as high-risky pregnancy), so I have also read that C section is recommended in my case, but at the same time my doctor says there isn’t a problem to go for VB, which according to him is always better for the baby. Therefore I’m really confused… Same as you, and probably every mother out there, I just want to make sure I’m doing the best choice for my little girl! I really hope everything will be fine with my baby whatever the type of birth is at the end.
    I’m sorry to hear you had these complications after the C section, but I perfectly understand and think the same way as you – I would go through anything for my baby and will always pray to be me not her going through any difficulties. At the end, when you see and hug that little human – it’s all worth it, right :))

  • Hi Mish! Thanks for sharing your story! I have been following you ever since I sent you an eco bikini from my line – – I just had a my first child too – a little girl born on May 23rd, I also had a cesarean because she was breech. I am sorry you had to go through such a traumatizing ordeal but thank you for so open and honestly sharing your story. I had hoped for a natural birth so I was upset when I found out I had to have a cesarean, but as soon as my daughter arrived all I cared about was that she was here and healthy. Your daughter Harper is gorgeous and lucky to be born to such an awesome Mommy and Daddy! If you check out my Instagram @VanessaRivers you’ll see some photos of my daughter, Sadie. I am looking into making “Mommy and Me” swimsuits so if I get those done soon I will send a set for you and Harper! XO